Wednesday, March 2, 2011

It was MINE first! ;)

This is MY BLOG- I've had it for OVER a year now, and I will say WHAT I WANT, when I WANT, and HOW I want to..... and I owe NOTHING to you as an explaination of how, why, when, or where things go down in my life. If you would like to discuss anything I have to say, step to me and say it. I am one of those most honest people ever, and I don't care to hurt your feelings- I don't have much of a damper for sheltering how I feel- I lay it out there, and let it be. It may be a flaw, but I'm comfortable in my body, and I have the freedom to speak as I want to!  

Wow, I've been so busy- to busy to blog. I started a second job last week, on top of wrapping up another semester in school and working my other job has been hectic. Not to mention, being a housewife, cooking dinner- washing clothes, tending to my man, etc. But I love to come here to vent.

I'd like to say I'm suprised at how catty some people in my life are, but to be honest, I don't expect anything less from them. You know, I maintain a pretty busy life, and live peacefully because I choose to. I don't understand how people thrive on drama. I really just can not grasp it. There was a time when I was all about the drama, the he said she said, the "omg she is so....." but I grew up and I realized that it's all childish. But to hear from a good and dear friend to me, that they are having to live in this- it's udderly ridcilious. I guess this brings me to my next point. That's why I don't have many friends, because you can't trust them. Heck, you can't trust MOST of your family. For someone as sweet as my friend is, they do not deserve the treatment they get. For anyone to point thier finger, and place blame, or to even talk rudely about- you deserve every bad thing you get in life. No, I'm not going to say names because I've learned people like to nose about my stuff, when I don't even know you, but you sure act like you really know me, what I've been through, and how I am. Puuuuuuhhhlease. I would just like to say for all who is reading, please pray for my friend, because they do not deserve any of the things they are going through. They deserve SO much better.

Onto my next thing. School. I am near my witt's end with school. I know I see the light at the end of the tunnel being in school 14 years is enough to make your head spin. I am so ready for my career, I can reach out and touch it, it's that close- but why do I feel more behind than ever. I'm not jealous of anyone- but I see all these people having children, buying new cars, houses, having jobs that pay good, etc.. and I wonder, did I take a wrong road somewhere. I mean, Aaron and I have been together 8 years- we married young, and we are building our life. Is it wrong we choose to live within our means, and not carry more debt than we can afford? Is it wrong that I am 21 and I am just now ready to have children? Is it wrong that I am enjoying being husband and wife, and being able to do what I want? I have many influences, and I see what everyone around me is doing- but I'm not a sucker for peer pressure, so does that make me the sore thumb sticking out? I bullshitted around the first year outta high school, I know that- but does that mean I am wrong? I dont know, its a question I constantly ask myself.

Last but not least.. Dieting/Weight/etc.
Everyone knows I am overweight. Trust me, I hear it everyday from Granny, or Pop...etc. I have a mirror, I see the flab rolls, I put a shirt and pants over it everyday. Trust me, I know it's there. I have began making life changes though. I have completely cut out regular coke- I only drink diet now! (Whooo Hoo!) I am also scaling back how I eat, when I eat, and what I eat. I have begun exercising again! (Double WHOOO HOO!) I am doing Zumba- it's a lot of fun, and I almost forget I'm workin' out. I am down 18 pounds so far with a ultimate weight goal of about 165-175. I have quite a bit to go, but I have come over my major hump! To me, I can't tell a bit that I've lost weight... BUT I feel better. I don't constantly feel exhausted, drained, depressed, etc. (It's only 1/2 the time now!!) This is a long journey, but I know that with the right willpower, and support I can get to where I wanna be!

Before I sign out for the night (hubby is due home anytime)...I want to clarify a few things. I in no way mean to hurt anyone's feelings, or make them feel like I am singling them out, that is not what I am trying to accomplish. I just will not tolerate people thinking they can say whatever they want, whenever they want, about me like I am not gonna know. I use this blog as a place to lay out all my feelings, and for my friends to be able to connect with me on a personal level.I have nothing to hide, so I lay it all out there. Hehe. I know I have some readers who don't have blogs that come and check out my posts, and I appreciate that. Much love! :)

I will post the peanut butter fudge recipe I made earlier last week after Aaron and I grab some dinner! :)

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